I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
