Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
