Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
