Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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