I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
