I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize