i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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