once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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