I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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