considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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