hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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