feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Come share oat with me in your robe
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
