i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You may now shotgun with the bride
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
