just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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