I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
