i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
