but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Vodka?
Forever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
