Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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