Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
