so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
