I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
