I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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