My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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