How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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