break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
