so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
