Me. At least after what I've been through.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
they're like a gay fantastic four
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
