I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
