i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
