it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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