hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
