fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
