he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
