ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
