That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize