dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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