I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize