i don't like sucking hair
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
