My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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