A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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