do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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