Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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