The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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