Just cropdusted the office
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
handjob tips. give me some.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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