please come you make the beer taste better
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize