I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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