if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
