I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Houston, we have a squirter
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
