People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
