I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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