Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
