I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
