I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Randomize
