so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
