one two three fourrrrnication!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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