So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
