Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Less talking, more tequila
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
