omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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