at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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