I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
