what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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