What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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