help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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