It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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