Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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