He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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