i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
did you just send me my own nude
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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