I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
