Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize
