She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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