remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
