Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My bed smells like the plague
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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