I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
