Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
